When Will This End?

Okay, so whomever you are who told me that going from 2 to 3 children was easier than from 1 to 2, I’d like to tell you (without inflicting too much bodily harm because I’m restraining myself), that it’s simply proven false for me. This is the worst time of our lives, and I’m not really seeing much hope for the future. (Okay, perhaps that's a bit of an exaggerated stretch, but read on and you'll see what I mean).

I thought I’d seen my wits end before; I thought life couldn’t get any more hectic or chaotic, but no, my wits end is here waving its cape like a Spanish torero, locking gazes with me, and taunting me as if I were the bull about to be pricked to death by tiny dagger bites. My wits end is sporting mercilessly with me, and it’s dangling by a threadbare hair!

And Lexi isn’t the problem.

She’s a wonderful baby; slept 8 hours last night and averages between 6-8 per night. She’s such a joy, literally. She has her moments of crying until she’s held, but she’s a baby - - a forgivable offense :)

Our evening terror comes in the form of a compact little man, a two-year-old miniature Jeff, who is much too smart for his own good.

Two weeks ago, he figured out how to unlatch his gate, and I would awake from my sleep with a little face peeking at me. “Hi, mommy” he would say.

Oh, no. We tried switching gates, but he figured the other one out. We tried doubling the gates, but he was on to that. Finally, I took packing tape and covered the latch. He no longer can escape. And, if we didn’t live in an all hardwood floors house, with steep uncarpeted stairs, it wouldn’t be that big of a deal. But, we do, so it is.

But, his escape artistry is not the biggest issue. The real problem lies in the fact that he refuses to sleep. He either refuses to go to sleep, or if we manage to get him to sleep, he refuses to stay asleep. And it’s wearing us out because it lasts for HOURS.

We’ve tried the soft approach, the hard approach, the spanking approach, the ignore-him approach, the scream-it-out approach, the sit-in-front-of-his-door-until-he-falls-asleep approach, and various combinations of the afore-mentioned….and let me tell you, NOTHING IS WORKING. It just keeps getting worse. Two nights ago, he screamed and cried from 7:45 until somewhere around midnight. I went to check on him at 2:00 a.m. and up popped his little head. He was still awake. AT 2.A.M.???!!!!????

And now, it’s turning into nap-time, too. He will not go to sleep at nap-time. You’d think he’d be worn out, but no, he’s up in the morning by 6:30 crying for “daddy”, and he’s raring to go the rest of the day, as if he’s slept for 12 or more hours, and though there are dark circles around his eyes, you can’t tell by his behavior that he’s tired. So, come nap-time, he’s a-bouncing, and it’s not like he’s eating sugar or imbibing caffeine.

I’ve asked around. It seems this is normal behavior for a 2-year-old upon bringing home a new baby. Is it “acting out” though? I don’t know. He loves the baby; smothers her with his love, in fact, during the day. Some say it lasts for a few weeks, others, a few months, and even others, a few years.

All I know is that I’m worn out, Jeff is worn out, and Gideon SHOULD be worn out. None of us have had a decent night’s sleep in three weeks (and I’m not even asking for a “good” night’s sleep) and I honestly don’t know how much more of this I can do. Actually, Scarlett, who shares a room with Gideon, sleeps like a log, and wakes up as refreshed as he thinks he is. Wish I had her ability to tune him out or simply some mental earplugs. As a mom, though, if I know my child is awake, and especially if I can hear him/her, I can’t go to sleep until he/she is.

The other thing that I’m becoming painfully aware of is that I have a strong-willed child and life with him doesn’t look like it’s going to get easier. Anyone own the Dr. Dobson book and want to pass it along? I’m going to need to read it.

I want to be a loving, sweet, and sensitive mother, but I’m having such a hard time with this. The Lord has given me strength and patience during the day, but in those wee hours when my eyes are heavy and I can barely keep them open, I feel the frustration level rise. That’s when I usually pass on the Gideon-duties to Jeff, but still, my desire isn’t to be a frustrated mom.

If any of you have advice on how you handled a similar situation, please feel free to pass it along. We’ve tried it all, and it looks like we’ll be doing this for awhile. I wish the Bible had a book, or at least a google search on, “specifics for handling toddlers: what do to when they won’t [fill in the blank]…”