Okay, so whomever you are who told me that going from 2 to 3 children was easier than from 1 to 2, I’d like to tell you (without inflicting too much bodily harm because I’m restraining myself), that it’s simply proven false for me. This is the worst time of our lives, and I’m not really seeing much hope for the future. (Okay, perhaps that's a bit of an exaggerated stretch, but read on and you'll see what I mean).
I thought I’d seen my wits end before; I thought life couldn’t get any more hectic or chaotic, but no, my wits end is here waving its cape like a Spanish torero, locking gazes with me, and taunting me as if I were the bull about to be pricked to death by tiny dagger bites. My wits end is sporting mercilessly with me, and it’s dangling by a threadbare hair!
And Lexi isn’t the problem.
She’s a wonderful baby; slept 8 hours last night and averages between 6-8 per night. She’s such a joy, literally. She has her moments of crying until she’s held, but she’s a baby - - a forgivable offense :)
Our evening terror comes in the form of a compact little man, a two-year-old miniature Jeff, who is much too smart for his own good.
Two weeks ago, he figured out how to unlatch his gate, and I would awake from my sleep with a little face peeking at me. “Hi, mommy” he would say.
Oh, no. We tried switching gates, but he figured the other one out. We tried doubling the gates, but he was on to that. Finally, I took packing tape and covered the latch. He no longer can escape. And, if we didn’t live in an all hardwood floors house, with steep uncarpeted stairs, it wouldn’t be that big of a deal. But, we do, so it is.
But, his escape artistry is not the biggest issue. The real problem lies in the fact that he refuses to sleep. He either refuses to go to sleep, or if we manage to get him to sleep, he refuses to stay asleep. And it’s wearing us out because it lasts for HOURS.
We’ve tried the soft approach, the hard approach, the spanking approach, the ignore-him approach, the scream-it-out approach, the sit-in-front-of-his-door-until-he-falls-asleep approach, and various combinations of the afore-mentioned….and let me tell you, NOTHING IS WORKING. It just keeps getting worse. Two nights ago, he screamed and cried from 7:45 until somewhere around midnight. I went to check on him at 2:00 a.m. and up popped his little head. He was still awake. AT 2.A.M.???!!!!????
And now, it’s turning into nap-time, too. He will not go to sleep at nap-time. You’d think he’d be worn out, but no, he’s up in the morning by 6:30 crying for “daddy”, and he’s raring to go the rest of the day, as if he’s slept for 12 or more hours, and though there are dark circles around his eyes, you can’t tell by his behavior that he’s tired. So, come nap-time, he’s a-bouncing, and it’s not like he’s eating sugar or imbibing caffeine.
I’ve asked around. It seems this is normal behavior for a 2-year-old upon bringing home a new baby. Is it “acting out” though? I don’t know. He loves the baby; smothers her with his love, in fact, during the day. Some say it lasts for a few weeks, others, a few months, and even others, a few years.
All I know is that I’m worn out, Jeff is worn out, and Gideon SHOULD be worn out. None of us have had a decent night’s sleep in three weeks (and I’m not even asking for a “good” night’s sleep) and I honestly don’t know how much more of this I can do. Actually, Scarlett, who shares a room with Gideon, sleeps like a log, and wakes up as refreshed as he thinks he is. Wish I had her ability to tune him out or simply some mental earplugs. As a mom, though, if I know my child is awake, and especially if I can hear him/her, I can’t go to sleep until he/she is.
The other thing that I’m becoming painfully aware of is that I have a strong-willed child and life with him doesn’t look like it’s going to get easier. Anyone own the Dr. Dobson book and want to pass it along? I’m going to need to read it.
I want to be a loving, sweet, and sensitive mother, but I’m having such a hard time with this. The Lord has given me strength and patience during the day, but in those wee hours when my eyes are heavy and I can barely keep them open, I feel the frustration level rise. That’s when I usually pass on the Gideon-duties to Jeff, but still, my desire isn’t to be a frustrated mom.
If any of you have advice on how you handled a similar situation, please feel free to pass it along. We’ve tried it all, and it looks like we’ll be doing this for awhile. I wish the Bible had a book, or at least a google search on, “specifics for handling toddlers: what do to when they won’t [fill in the blank]…”
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Friday, April 03, 2009
Catching Up
I think the hardest part, and mind you, this is only two weeks into mother-of-three, is disciplining/fixing/helping etc. while nursing. For example, just this morning, I was feeding Lexi when Gideon walked up to me with fingers outstretched. I saw chocolate goo gooped onto 4 of his 5 fingers. For a second I was confused, and then I realized that goo was poo! Thankfully, I had just changed Lexi and the box of wipes was still on the sofa beside me. Gross and more gross, and yes, I used this word over and over so Gideon would get the hint that he ought not perform his own finger check again.
Anyway, this last month has been a whirlwind of activity, as you well know, and my blogging time has been limited. Well, to be honest, the few hours I could work on it in the afternoon, I’m napping, and that’s a must to get through the rest of the day until bedtime.
I’ve put together a little montage of last month. You’ll remember how desperate I was to get the baby out of my tummy. We took Gideon and Scarlett to a jump house (you know, one of those inflatable slide places). I didn’t realize pregnant women weren’t supposed to jump, but as you’ll see, Jeff got some footage to show me in contempt of the bounce house law, but didn’t bother telling me until AFTER I had attempted to bounce Lexi out.
P.S. The birth story is below for any who are interested.
Birth Story:
I’ll make this fast. My inducement date was Thursday, the 19th at 10 a.m. (since my parents were only in town until the next day), AND we had set up a pre-op appointment for the children on that same day at the same time. Well, Jeff and our sweet friend, Lisa, took the children to their appointment (which was thankfully right across the street from the hospital), while my parents took me to the hospital.
Jeff, in frantic mode, convinced the nurses (who obviously pitied this poor pappy) to let him in ahead of the waiting room full of people because according to him, if I was induced at 10, there was a possibility I could have the baby within the hour. I told him if that were the case, I’d be in the Guiness Book of World Records. Well, you know what men can be when they get an idea in their heads…there’s no stopping them.
It was barely 11, and I’d yet to receive the pitocin. I’d just finished all the paperwork, dad had gotten bored and left to go study, and mom and I were just chatting and relaxing. She hears pounding coming down the hall, as if someone were in a big hurry. Yes. It was Jeff running through the hallways, almost knocking people over, to get to me. He was breathing hard and heavy, so sure he’d miss the action.
Anyway, we laughed at him, and for the next 4 hours, the action was slow and almost un-noteworthy. By 3:00, I’d barely progressed to a “3”, and mom left to go meet dad so they could take care of some business (from the hail damage at the house). I asked the nurse if the pitocin was working because I wasn’t feeling any pain (just a few contractions intermittently), and so she said, “oh, I can bring on the pain.” Big mistake, Audrea. She cranked that i.v. up as high as she could, and within about 15 minutes, I was definitely feeling the contractions. Around 4, I asked if I could get that epidural anytime soon, and though I’d only progressed a little further (3-4), they said okay. By the time the anesthesiologist got in the room and set up his cart o’ fun, I was IN PAIN, and apparently, I’d jumped to a 6 or 7 within that next hour.
He told me my back was an anesthesiologist’s dream. Wow. Now, feeling big, chunky,n breathless, and pregnant, that was solace to my ears! Once that nectar kicked in, I was back to my happy self.
Now, this time, I told him ahead of time that I had had “hot spots” with the last two labors (a big spot where the epidural didn’t work), so he expertly inserted the needle more shallowly than other anesth.’s and it worked. This time, I wasn’t completely numb. I could still feel activity (sort of).
The doctor came in to check me, and said she’d break my water to get things moving. You know I was all about getting things moving. I called my mom and only got voicemail. Told my mom things were about to get interesting. Once the baby got moving, she wasn’t wasting any time.
And they did. Between 6 and 6:15, I felt pressure and Jeff called the nurse back in. She had me push once to see if she could get the baby moving, and then stopped me. The baby was all ready. They got the doctor, set everything up, and by 6:15 got me ready.
I either forgot how to push or could only do it while completely numb. Having a little bit of feeling totally threw me off. Jeff said my face was all red, my fists were clamped, and I looked like our children do when they’re straining to do “strong.” So, after I had urinated towards the doctor (yes, I know, gross, but not as gross as it could have been), I guess I figured out which muscles to use because 15 minutes later (9 pushes and 3 contractions), Lexi was out at 6:34 p.m.
The funny part was that Jeff was on one side of me rooting “come on little fella” and the delivery nurse was on the other side chanting “come on little girl.” The doctor pulled out the baby and turned her “parts” toward the nurse. The nurse said “Ha.” And Jeff said, “what is it?” “It’s a girl.”
A girl?? We totally weren’t prepared for that. We’ve thought this baby was a boy from the beginning. We were asked what her name was. “We don’t know. We thought it was a boy.”
Anyway, we figured it all out after an hour or so of deliberation and Alexandria (Lexi) Joy was named. She's named for my brother, Alex, and Jeff's mom and sister's middle name.
She’s such a sweet baby, a good sleeper, only whimpers when she’s hungry, dirty, or needs to burp. Who can complain about that?
Anyway, this last month has been a whirlwind of activity, as you well know, and my blogging time has been limited. Well, to be honest, the few hours I could work on it in the afternoon, I’m napping, and that’s a must to get through the rest of the day until bedtime.
I’ve put together a little montage of last month. You’ll remember how desperate I was to get the baby out of my tummy. We took Gideon and Scarlett to a jump house (you know, one of those inflatable slide places). I didn’t realize pregnant women weren’t supposed to jump, but as you’ll see, Jeff got some footage to show me in contempt of the bounce house law, but didn’t bother telling me until AFTER I had attempted to bounce Lexi out.
P.S. The birth story is below for any who are interested.
Birth Story:
I’ll make this fast. My inducement date was Thursday, the 19th at 10 a.m. (since my parents were only in town until the next day), AND we had set up a pre-op appointment for the children on that same day at the same time. Well, Jeff and our sweet friend, Lisa, took the children to their appointment (which was thankfully right across the street from the hospital), while my parents took me to the hospital.
Jeff, in frantic mode, convinced the nurses (who obviously pitied this poor pappy) to let him in ahead of the waiting room full of people because according to him, if I was induced at 10, there was a possibility I could have the baby within the hour. I told him if that were the case, I’d be in the Guiness Book of World Records. Well, you know what men can be when they get an idea in their heads…there’s no stopping them.
It was barely 11, and I’d yet to receive the pitocin. I’d just finished all the paperwork, dad had gotten bored and left to go study, and mom and I were just chatting and relaxing. She hears pounding coming down the hall, as if someone were in a big hurry. Yes. It was Jeff running through the hallways, almost knocking people over, to get to me. He was breathing hard and heavy, so sure he’d miss the action.
Anyway, we laughed at him, and for the next 4 hours, the action was slow and almost un-noteworthy. By 3:00, I’d barely progressed to a “3”, and mom left to go meet dad so they could take care of some business (from the hail damage at the house). I asked the nurse if the pitocin was working because I wasn’t feeling any pain (just a few contractions intermittently), and so she said, “oh, I can bring on the pain.” Big mistake, Audrea. She cranked that i.v. up as high as she could, and within about 15 minutes, I was definitely feeling the contractions. Around 4, I asked if I could get that epidural anytime soon, and though I’d only progressed a little further (3-4), they said okay. By the time the anesthesiologist got in the room and set up his cart o’ fun, I was IN PAIN, and apparently, I’d jumped to a 6 or 7 within that next hour.
He told me my back was an anesthesiologist’s dream. Wow. Now, feeling big, chunky,n breathless, and pregnant, that was solace to my ears! Once that nectar kicked in, I was back to my happy self.
Now, this time, I told him ahead of time that I had had “hot spots” with the last two labors (a big spot where the epidural didn’t work), so he expertly inserted the needle more shallowly than other anesth.’s and it worked. This time, I wasn’t completely numb. I could still feel activity (sort of).
The doctor came in to check me, and said she’d break my water to get things moving. You know I was all about getting things moving. I called my mom and only got voicemail. Told my mom things were about to get interesting. Once the baby got moving, she wasn’t wasting any time.
And they did. Between 6 and 6:15, I felt pressure and Jeff called the nurse back in. She had me push once to see if she could get the baby moving, and then stopped me. The baby was all ready. They got the doctor, set everything up, and by 6:15 got me ready.
I either forgot how to push or could only do it while completely numb. Having a little bit of feeling totally threw me off. Jeff said my face was all red, my fists were clamped, and I looked like our children do when they’re straining to do “strong.” So, after I had urinated towards the doctor (yes, I know, gross, but not as gross as it could have been), I guess I figured out which muscles to use because 15 minutes later (9 pushes and 3 contractions), Lexi was out at 6:34 p.m.
The funny part was that Jeff was on one side of me rooting “come on little fella” and the delivery nurse was on the other side chanting “come on little girl.” The doctor pulled out the baby and turned her “parts” toward the nurse. The nurse said “Ha.” And Jeff said, “what is it?” “It’s a girl.”
A girl?? We totally weren’t prepared for that. We’ve thought this baby was a boy from the beginning. We were asked what her name was. “We don’t know. We thought it was a boy.”
Anyway, we figured it all out after an hour or so of deliberation and Alexandria (Lexi) Joy was named. She's named for my brother, Alex, and Jeff's mom and sister's middle name.
She’s such a sweet baby, a good sleeper, only whimpers when she’s hungry, dirty, or needs to burp. Who can complain about that?
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