Raising Toddlers

I think I’ve figured out, for me, what the hardest part of raising toddlers is. It’s the constant correction that goes with training and daily routine. If I didn’t care what kind of children ours grew up to be, I’d just let them get away with whatever their little minds could conjure. The consistency in correction and discipline is hard, all-consuming W-O-R-K. And after a night where one child wakes with a fever and refuses to go back to sleep for a few hours, the lack of sleep, for me, is really quite wearing and I’d like to just ignore their behavior, close my eyes, and let them get into whatever mischief comes their way.

But, the problem, gratefully, is that I care. I care about what kind of adults my children become. I care what kind of Christians they prayerfully develop into, and I care what kind of children of God they represent.

There are too many pseudo-Christians proclaiming with their mouths biblical truth they don’t really believe, living secret lives still selfishly shackled to sin, perverting God’s holy word for egocentric pleasure, all the while raising children with no boundaries, no sense of restraint, or even most importantly, a serious lack of self-control that filters into every aspect of their children's future.

Being a parent is hard. Modeling correct God-honoring behavior (which ought to be a natural outflow of what one believes) is even more difficult, and I understand being too tired and too exhausted from one’s day to want to do it.

But, I’m realizing that those are the days when it counts the most. Who you are under stress and pressure is really who you are. The kind of parent you are under stress and pressure is really the kind of parent that you are. What you believe about God when you are under stress and pressure is really what you believe about God. For most of us, that’s not the prettiest picture, not the one we want others to see, and it’s not even the one we really want to be for ourselves and for our children.

When I’m tired and cranky, that’s when I need an extra dose of time with God, not less. That’s when I need to turn toward God, not away from him, assuming I can handle things in my own way. That’s not when I give myself license to explode in frustrated anger because of the expectation that I have for my toddler (or anyone for that matter) to remember yet again that he’s not supposed to put his big truck on Grandma Marta’s pristine coffee table or he's not supposed to throw balls at his baby sister. That’s what the wooden spoon is for. It serves as a reminder; swift correction that counts on the first swat. And I have to be diligent to keep at it, though the laziness in me wants to pretend like I don’t see - because if I see it, I’m responsible for it.

If I really understand what happened when I became a Christian, when I accepted Christ’s ultimate sacrifice of death on the cross for MY sin, and that after he rose victoriously from the grave, I would see that simply by my act of belief, I am now joined to him. When Holy God looks at me, does he see sinful Audrea of the past? No. He sees his perfect son, Jesus Christ, every time he looks at me. And Christ’s responses (always faultless) are the natural way for me to respond in any circumstance because that’s what he did and he is in me; I am united with him and to him. I accepted his free gift; he gave his life freely for my sin when he didn’t deserve death. So, my job, therefore, is to live a life worthy of the name I now call my own. It takes more effort and more work to respond in the flesh, in an ungodly manner, in unbridled anger and frustration, than it does to respond in love.

Don’t get me wrong here. There is a good and holy place for anger which can be used to fuel the heart and mind for kingdom purposes, but if the anger comes from a selfish place of insecurity, doubt, fear, unmet expectations, hurt feelings, etc., that only hinders correction and can even hinder one’s own spiritual growth because the blinders of selfish anger only see what the deceiver tunnels your vision toward.

All that to say, and I could go on because I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately, is that I blog, not only to share funny stories, but to organize my deep inner thoughts, and even to spur myself on in more disciplines of the faith and to share what God is doing in me. I never want to stand before Holy God when I die and hear him say “Depart from me. I never knew you.” And I certainly don’t want that for you, my dear friends and readers.

Blessings on any who are smack in the middle of toddlerhood!